| | Getting into the Valentine's spirit is always difficult for me . . . my father passed away unexpectedly on February 15 when I was a teenager. Valentine's is a stark reminder that I've not had my father for many, many years. When I allow myself to wallow in self pity, I feel the void. I feel as though something precious has been stolen from me. I feel the loss. I feel cheated.
My husband knows this, and he always makes an effort to make Valentine's Day special for me. Last evening he took me out for a leisurely romantic dinner at The Magnolia House, an historic home in our town. For 2.5 hours we talked softly, held hands, winked at each other, played footsies under the table, laughed, whispered, "I love you," to each other. For 2.5 hours my mind was diverted from the reality of February 15.
These are the times when it's really difficult to walk in faith, to wrap myself in the calm assurance that my Heavenly Father has nothing but the best plans for me, that He is all I need. The Truth is planted firmly in my brain, but my heart falters. What I know and what I believe are at times worlds apart, as separated as "...the east is from the west."
So these are the times when I give myself pep talks, when I recite Scripture over and over and over again. These are the times I go through the motions, simply because it's the right thing to do. These are the times when I go back to the books of Job, Jeremiah, Joshua, and Psalms. These are the times when the Word feeds me, sustains me, nourishes me. These are the times when the healing balm of the Holy Spirit washes over me ever so slowly, gently pushing me forward. These are the times when I discover the gentle flowers that bloom in the valley. These are the times when I tell myself that as long as I'm content to stay in that valley, I'll never get back to that mountaintop.
These are the times when Jesus wraps His arms around me, holding me as I let go and let God one more time. |
| | Posted 2/15/2009 9:07 AM - 14 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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